Messages in Liquor Bottles
by muchasfandomas
Summary: It's Sam's 16th birthday. There's only one problem. She's drunk for the first time in Freddie's bathroom, and he's stuck cleaning up her mess. Will this situation bring them closer together?
1. Warning: Drunken Sam in the Bathroom

**A/N: Thanks for the support on my last story! This one will be longer. While this is mostly Seddie centered, at the moment Sam and Freddie may or may not get together by the end of this story. I feel that the build-up to Seddie is much more exciting than when Seddie actually happens. For that, we can let Dan Schnieder decide how it is going to happen. However, for now let's just let our imaginations fill what's in between ;) I hope you enjoy it. We'll see how the story falls as I continue to write =)**

"Ah, _Sam_!" I really didn't understand why I was always the one put in the worst situations. For example, on Sam's 16th birthday, I'm the one who's holding her hair as she pukes into my personal bathroom toilet. And it'll be _me_ who'll have to clean it up. Not Carly, not Sam herself, but _me_. But of course, these are the situations I get myself into.

"I feel like I'm dying."

"Don't talk. Just get it out." Sam wiped her mouth with her sleeve and leaned against the wall, her eyes glazed and exhausted, looking at me.

"I think I'm done." I sighed a breath of relief and took out the Clorox. This had been going on for about an hour now. I tried to clean the bathroom as best as I could, scrubbing every scent off so that my nut of a mother wouldn't accuse me of anything when she got home. Once again, she had an APA (Aggressive Parents Anonymous) retreat and boy was I happy she did. The "guardian" she chose to look over me was eighty-five and was passed out on the couch. She didn't even notice Sam come in.

I sat on the floor next to Sam, who really did look like she was dying. She looked at me with her bloodshot eyes and sighed, tears coming down her face. "Don't tell Carly." I nodded.

"I won't." there was silence, until that silence was interrupted when Sam slapped me in the face… hard. I turned to face Sam, who was laughing and crying at the same time. Leave it to Sam to find humor out of the worst situations by slapping me.

"I feel sick, Freddo."

"Well, that's what you get for drinking." Sam laughed harder and grabbed my ear. I tried to scoot away. She was getting really freaky.

"You're such a—such a—I don't know." She became serious again. I didn't really know how to handle it since this was honestly my first encounter with a drunk person. I always thought drunk Sam and sober Sam would be pretty much the same.

"I'm really, really sick though. When I'm sick, Carly makes me soup."

"Well I'm not Carly."

"No… but you love Carly and Carly loves me… so make me soup." I took a sideways glance at Sam again. She was sweating like a bulldog and smiling at me—and crying at the same time. This was the weirdest experience I ever had with Sam, and that's saying a lot.

"No, Sam. Soup will make you even worse. Trust me." I couldn't stand to see Sam's sweaty face anymore, so I got up and wet a washcloth with cold water. I threw it over her head and figured it was the least I could do. She yanked the washcloth off of her and whipped my face with it, glaring at me. I rubbed my cheek and groaned.

"Sam, I've helped you enough, haven't I?"

"No. I don't know if I could get up. Help me up."

"Sam--!"

"Help me up!" Again, I groaned but I helped Sam up. She couldn't really support her own weight, so I basically had to carry her and dropped her on my bed.

As soon as she hit the bed, she threw my bed sheets over her head. No way in hell was I letting her sleep in my bed!

"Oh, no, Sam! Get up!" I tried to roll her a bit, but she just slapped me a bunch of times. I gave up after a minute, so I went through my closet, pulled out my Galaxy Wars sleeping bag, and laid down on the floor next to my bed. First Sam ruins my bathroom, then she ruins my bed just by being in it. Then again, Sam ruined her own birthday, too. Being friends with someone like Sam meant either taking her for who she is or leaving her and never looking back. Although most of the time I want to look the other way, I can't. Because even though I hate her and she hates me and all that stuff, I know she'll always be Sam. I wish I was that sure of a lot of things in life.


	2. Waking Up in a Geek Raided Room

I woke up with a headache. I didn't know why, since _I _wasn't the drunk one. But I looked up and noticed Sam was out cold, snoring like a beast. I looked at my watch. My mom would be home in an hour, and she would definitely flip if she saw Sam here.

I jumped up and tapped Sam's arm. "Sam, you gotta—!"

"Ahhh!"

"Ahh!" Sam jumped up and hopped off of my bed, glaring at me after taking in her surroundings.

"Why—am—I—here—Bensen?" I backed away slowly, too afraid she was gonna hit me. "Sam, calm down."

"I'll calm down when you tell me why I'm in your geek-raided room!" I put my hands in front of my chest as a defense if she hit me.

"You were drunk. You climbed into my bed and slept there."

"Oh, sure. I got drunk and I spent my wild night with you. That's a likely story."

"It's true! God, I can't believe you can't remember all the stuff you put me through!" Sam stopped in her tracks, so I did, too. She didn't look angry anymore.

"What'd I put you through?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"What _didn't _you put me through? You puked all over my toilet, you puked all over my bathroom, you slapped me a couple of times, you made me sleep on the floor…" I was interrupted by Sam's laughter. I crossed my arms, waiting for her to stop even though I knew she wouldn't.

"Perfect. That's too perfect."

"It's not funny Sam. Carly had big plans for you guys, and I had to cancel them and cover for you." Sam rolled her eyes.

"You didn't _have to_ do anything."

"Oh, right. So I can go straight to Carly and tell her the real reason why I had to cancel your World's Greatest Bacon outing." Sam's jaw dropped.

"_What_? Carly… was going to take me… to the World's Greatest Bacon Factory?" I shrugged and smirked.

"You blew it." Sam looked at the ground. She looked as if she was going to cry.

"Sam, come on. It's not that bad…" the next thing I knew, Sam reached into her pocket and pulled out her tazer. I cowered away from it, figuring she was going to aim it at me, but she shocked me when she tazed herself.

"Sam!"

"The World's Greatest Bacon Factory! It must've taken Carly a _year _to get that reservation!" Sam threw the tazer aside and charged at me, pulling at my sweater.

"A _year_!"

"I get it, I get it!" she dropped me and shook her head.

"All that bacon… woah, I think this huge low is sparking my memory." I raised my eyebrows at her. "So, what do you remember?"

"Opening my mama's big fat liquor cabinet and thinking it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." I raised my eyebrows, continuing to stare at her. I couldn't read her, but then again I could almost never read Sam. She rolled her eyes.

"What are you looking at?"

"I just don't get it, why'd you do it?" Sam shrugged.

"Just to try it, I guess."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to get drunk. Especially not on your birthday."

"Benson, I don't have time for you to be my wacked-out shrink. I'm out." Sam opened my bedroom door, about to exit, when she turned back around. She just stared at me, looking like she wanted to say something, but she didn't so I decided to go first.

"I know you did it for a reason." Sam looked at the floor.

"What'd you tell Carly?"

"Just that you were sick."

"Oh." She started to exit again, then turned back around. "So this is just between me and you, correcto?"

"You got it."

"You promise?"

"I promise, Sam." Sam nodded.

"See you, Fredward."

"Bye." Sam closed the door behind her. I had a feeling that Sam had gotten herself drunk on purpose. I mean, you don't just drink yourself to wacko-world on purpose, do you?

Well I wasn't going to bother her about it. I wasn't going to poke her until she poured out her deepest feelings… at least, unless she did it again. That'd be an entirely different story.


	3. Pearphone Messages

My PearPhone vibrated, so I took it out of my pocket and looked at the text. It was from Carly. My heart started pounding. I was never good at lying to Carly.

_Have you seen Sam?_ Well, that was simple enough. I didn't have to lie.

_Yeah. Why?_ I calmed down and sat at the edge of my bed. I waited a few minutes.

_Because yesterday I tried to call her to see if she wanted me to come over to make her chicken noodle soup and she never got back to me! Sam always wants chicken noodle soup when she's sick!_ I laughed. I could pretty much hear Carly telling me this in her super fast worried voice.

_Well, obviously if she's throwing up all night she's not going to get back to you. _

It didn't take long for Carly to get back to me on that one.

_What?! How do you know Sam was throwing up all night?_ I had to think quick.

_She told me. _Simple, but it suited the purpose.

_Nevermind. Sam just texted me now, she said she's coming over since she's in the building. Was she at your apartment? _

I decided it was best not to answer that one. Sam could tell her what she wanted to, but I wasn't going to get involved. I heard the five-time-buzz and jumped. My mom has this "super-secret-buzz" for our doorbell to let me know that she wasn't a stranger and I didn't have to run into my secret hiding place. Little did she know that her buzz was much scarier than some stranger coming into my house. I grabbed some Febreeze and sprayed it all over my room since there was no doubt in my mind that she would otherwise be able to sniff out Sam in a heartbeat. My mom never told me where she was trained to do that, and I've never really asked or even tried to figure out. After all, curiosity killed the cat.

"Fredward Bensen, how come you never bothered to tell me that Mrs. Wilkins has been asleep for the past thirteen hours?!?" Mom barged into my room, crossing her arms.

"Mom, I swear, I've been in my room this whole time. I didn't know."

"Arms up."

"Mom—!"

"Arms up, Fredward!" I groaned and threw my arms up while my mom sniffed around me. Boy was I glad Sam wasn't around to see this.

"You don't smell peculiar…"

"Great. Now can you please go back downstairs?"

"Why? Are you hiding something?"

"_No_, Mom. I'm not. I'm just going to head to Carly's in a few and I want to get ready." My mom put on a face of disgust. See, she's been really pissy after I saved Carly's life with that whole taco truck situation. Then again, no good deed can go unpunished.

"Alright, but be home for your tick bath. You know the time?"

"Yes, I know the time. Bye, Mom." After she closed the door behind her, I crashed back on my bed. I wasn't really going to go to Carly's right away, but I just kind of wanted her away from me, as bad as that sounds. I started listening to music from my Pearphone when I got a text from Sam. I rolled my eyes. It was probably going to be another one of those stupidly insulting jokes that she always sends me.

But she surprised me. Then again, doesn't she always?

_Bensen, let's do a skit tomorrow morning for the iCarly website. Carly says it needs to be updated—and people are getting really sick of Victoria for some reason… didn't I _tell _you this was going to happen? _

I laughed. She did tell me that, but I figured she was lying.

_You're just jealous of Victoria because both Gibby and I find her attractive ;)_ I smirked to myself. Calling Sam jealous really pissed her off to no end, which was why I constantly did so.

_Oh yeaahh. I'm so jealous that Victoria can snag two hotshots like you and the Gib. Anyway, you come over here tomorrow or else I'm gonna beat you 'till you're stringed cheese. Take it or leave it. _Oh, Sam. Tough, tough Sam.

_Alright then. I'll take it._

***A/N: Thank you so much for your continued support. I will try to update as often as possible =)**


	4. Ending Up in Hot Wax

I opened the stage door to find Sam sitting at a chair and threading a thick mustache. She looked up at me and winked.

"Hola, Freddie-Burrito!" I set my stuff down beside the tech area and took out my laptop.

"Where's Spencer?"

"Shopping."

"Carly?"

"Dude, does Carly ever agree to do these things with us?" I laughed. Whenever Sam and I even try to bring up _What Am I Tickling You With _to Carly, she covers her ears and screams "I will not participate!"

I guess she never underestimates the power of fusion between Sam and Spencer's minds. "So you came up with the skit all by yourself?"

"Yes sir. And you're gonna love it." Something beeped from the corner. I jumped. No beeping device had ever been in the set room. Sam went over to whatever it was and took out a bowl with yellow goop. She took a wooden stick from the side and started mixing it.

"What the heck are we doing today?" Sam rolled her eyes.

"Would you relax! I told you, you're gonna love it!"

"Okay… well what's in the bowl?" Sam smiled and placed the bowl right under my nose. "Smell it's goodness!"

"I _won't _until you tell me what it is!"

"It's hot wax! You gotta ruin all the fun, don't you?" I backed away from her.

Sam + hot wax = nothing good.

"And what are we doing with this hot wax?"

"Giving you a permanent mustache."

"No you're not!"

"Freddie, come _on_! Our viewers would wanna see this so badly!"

"No. _You _wanna see it so badly." Sam giggled to herself.

"True." I huffed and paced up and down. Was it Sam's job to make me hate her?

"I can't believe you brought me here to put scolding hot wax on my face."

"Ah, shut your pipehole. I was doing you a favor by making you look like more of a man and less like a girl."

"Ah, that's it! Next time you do something stupid, I'm telling Carly and not covering for you!" Sam's smile dropped. Her eyes turned demonic and she growled at me.

"I never said you had to. So stop acting like I'm such a burden."

"Sam, you never _stop _bothering me. Whenever you do something stupid, I'm usually the one that has to clean it up!" we were both fuming, and I could've sworn I saw Sam foam at the mouth.

"That's _always _your choice. But whatever. If you're too much of a girl to handle me, then I'm out."

Sam swiftly made her way to the door. I didn't really mean everything I said—I was just angry.

"Wait, Sam…"

"Later, Bensen." And with that, she slammed the door on my face, leaving me in my guilt.


	5. I Think it's You

I didn't get much sleep anyway.

I was up thinking about Sam. I really didn't mean what I said before, and I think that was the first time she ever took me seriously. And I mean _ever._ I was debating whether to apologize—or not apologize—when my window was pushed open. I jumped and grabbed my Galaxy Wars sword, ready for combat, but I heard giggling and kind of let my guard down.

"Pssssssssssssst! Freddie!" I inched toward the window slowly, seeing blonde girls swaying in the wind.

Sam.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing here?" I whispered. I was pretty sure my mom was sleeping, but I couldn't be too sure. Sam giggled, her face red, as she stuck her head in through my window. "Help me get in! I climbed up your fire extinguisher!"

Well, that was my answer to whether or not she took me seriously. I groaned and lent out my hands, launching Sam through my window. We both hit my floor pretty hard, but Sam continued to laugh.

"Sam, shush, you're gonna wake up my mom!" I covered her mouth, waiting for her to stop laughing. I sat up and looked down at her face. I knew that expression.

"Oh no, Sam, are you drunk again?" I couldn't see myself doing this another night. Of course I would if I had to, because that's just me. Stinkin' reliable Freddie Bensen. Sam calmed down a bit and sat up. I reluctantly took my hand off of her mouth. Sam was definitely drunk. If she wasn't, she definitely would have bitten me. Sam held a finger in front of my nose and smiled.

"Hi." She poked my nose and started laughing all over again. I happened to prefer sober Sam. Drunk Sam was much weirder.

"Why are you here?" I asked, trying to lift her off the floor. She wouldn't budge. She became very serious in an instant and looked up at me.

"I have no where else to go." That really hit my gut. I mean _really_. I actually felt nauseas when she said that.

I picked her up by her arms and sat her on the bed.

"Tell me what's wrong." I sat down on the bed next to her. She slapped my cheek in a creepy loving kind of way. "Nothing. Everything's fine."

"No. Not everything's fine. Why'd you get like this?" Sam looked as if she was trying to think hard. "Someone hurt my feelings."

Sam started to cry in that instant. I groaned. Right now, I really hated myself. Once again, I had gotten myself into this.

"Was it me?"

"No, no. Not you. Some boy. He doesn't want to be my friend." Sam started crying harder. Nausea hit again.

"Sure he does."

"How do _you _know?"

"Because he told me. I know, Sam." Sam wiped her eyes and shook her head.

"I'm just so tired."

"Okay, well if you want I can take you home." Sam's eyes widened and she started shaking her head furiously. "No! Can't I just stay here?"

"No, Sam. My mom would flip out."

"_Please!!_"

"No, Sam!"

"Please, Freddie, please!" she grabbed my shoulder and shook me. I never saw her so upset—so desperate. I rushed to my bathroom. It was me who did the puking this time.

Again, the irony.

Sam crept up to the bathroom door. "What's wrong with you?"

I laughed a little bit. A remnant of the Sober Sam returned. I wiped my mouth and tried to smile.

"I think it's you."


	6. It Always Ends with the Balcony

***A/N: Thank you for all of your support throughout the story! You guys are the ones who made me determined to finish it for you before I went out of the country =) I hope you've liked the fanfiction and I wish all of you a great spring break (that is, if you have one) =)**

"Freddie, Freddie wake up! And why are you on the floor?" I slowly opened my eyes to find my mother staring down at me with her crazy face on. I sat up and looked up at my bed. It was made—and Sam was gone. Was it all just a dream?

"Sorry, Mom."

"Young boys shouldn't sleep on the floor! You're going to get arthritis at sixteen years old!"

"Ah, Mom!" I stood up, rubbing my eyes. I was still trying to adjust the light—and understand this whole Sam thing.

"It's true! When you're ready to eat your breakfast, come straight downstairs! I've got your soy beans set out on the table." I tried to contain my facial expressions. Soy beans. _Yum_.

"Alright, Mom." She walked out of my room swiftly. I withdrew a breath. I guess that whole Sam thing was just my guilty mind playing at me.

I started to walk out to my balcony when I spotted curly blonde hair again. I half-smiled to myself and stepped outside. Sam had been crying. Her eyes were red and she continued to rub them. I wasn't sure if she had sobered up by now.

"Are you okay?"

"What's it to you, Bensen?" she wiped her eyes and looked down at her fingernails. I scooted my chair closer to her and looked at her, concerned.

"What's wrong?" Sam looked at me and withdrew a breath.

"I'm supposed to be used to all this by now. I guess I'm not."

"You're supposed to be used to all of what by now?" Sam withdrew another breath.

"Well… it all started when my mom forgot my birthday. I mean, it's not the first time she did it. I know by now that she'd rather be with her cat and her boyfriend than me. I don't know why all that shizz bothered me this year." I waited. I figured she needed more of a listener than a talker right now.

"And nobody likes me. There's almost absolutely no point to me being here."

"Being _here_?"

"Not here. Just… on earth. I don't get it." More tears came down Sam's cheeks. She wiped them away quickly enough.

"Sam, don't you even say that."

"But it's true! It's true and you know it!"

"It's _not _true. What I said the other day—I didn't mean it." Sam snorted.

"Like I give a _shizz _what you say."

"I know you do." My voice was stronger now. I wasn't going to let her get away with this. She bottles everything up and that's how all her problems end up with liquor bottles. I wasn't going to let that happen again. Sam rolled her eyes.

"Fine. You want to know the truth? I cried. I cried after you said all that. When _you _don't even want me, that's pretty bad." I laughed softly.

"Leave it to you, Sam. You insult me even when we're having some kind of heart-to-heart." Sam laughed too.

"I bet it's the balcony."

"Yeah, I bet." We both smiled to ourselves, silent for a bit.

"Hey Sam? Have you kissed anyone since? You know, besides me?" Sam glared at me. "Shut up."

"I'm _not _making fun of you. I promise. I'm just asking." Sam rolled her eyes.

"No." She snorted. "_You_, however, go off kissing my sister and my best friend." I flinched.

"Ouch."

"Yep." I felt a pain of nausea again.

"Wait—Sam were you hurt?"

"What are you talking about?" I hesitated.

"Did I hurt you—when I went out with Carly and Melanie?"

"Oh hell no, Fredward! Who do you think you are?" I smirked at her.

"You don't have to get all defensive. If it makes you feel any better, I thought Melanie was you."

"Don't care."

"She was kind of aggressive in a way."

"Don't care."

"I mean, sure she _seemed _sweet and friendly, but my _God _did she want me."

"Hey Freddie?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't care."

"Okay then."

I laughed. Sam just stared out into space.

"If you _ever _try to convince yourself that I'm jealous—and I mean _ever _again, I will hurt you."

"Got it. You're not jealous."

"I mean it!"

"I know."

We were quiet again.

"Yuragudfriend." It was basically all a rush of a mumble, but I thought I heard right.

"What was that?" Sam mumbled again, this time bitterly. I smirked and turned her head towards me.

"_Sam_." Sam rolled her eyes.

"I said—you're a good friend." I smiled. If there was one thing I was sure of, I was sure that Sam meant it.

"And as a good friend, what do you think I should do about your little alcohol problem?"

"It's not a problem." I raised my eyebrows at her. "Okay, okay. Well I wasn't gonna touch any of it again anyway, but I'm sure my mom wouldn't even notice right now if most of it was gone. She's too busy banging her hairy motorcycle boyfriend."

I flinched. "Too vivid."

"You think?" I half-smiled at her.

"I'm guessing we're heading to El Apartamento."

Sam laughed. "I believe you're going to eat your soya beansas first. What mommy says, Freddie do." I rolled my eyes.

"You heard that?"

"Yep. Go, enjoy your soy beans. You deserve it." I groaned and rolled my eyes, about to step back into my room.

"Hey, Freddo?" I turned back around.

"Yeah?" Sam smirked.

"I mean it."


	7. And Now an Important Message from Me

**Hey everyone =) This is just a short little message to let you all know that I have begun a sequel to Messages in Liquor have all been so supportive, so if you feel that you haven't gotten enough Seddie out of this, you'll definitely get enough in Guilty of Spinning. Thank you all for your support! I appreciate it! Just click back on my page to start reading ;)**


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